LOOKING FOR A GOOD SUMMER READ?

Temptings dark and struggles deep.

The Empty Room by Lauren B Davis follows a day in the life of Colleen Kerrigan, a woman of a certain age who has made bad decisions and had some bad decisions thrust upon her. She is not at first blush a very sympathetic character, but it is to Davis’ credit that we as readers get swept up, into her story. Using her spare, haunting prose, Davis creates landscapes that we can feel and smell. Some scenes in The Empty Room are so visceral, almost claustrophobic, I felt as if I was eavesdropping on conversations I wasn’t meant to hear. Scenes, that if you stumbled across them in real life you would look away, walk away, embarrassed and a little scared. Moments of bad judgement that are cringe inducing because we recognize our own transgressions. Lauren B Davis doesn’t flinch, duck or hide and that is what makes this story so compelling.

Colleen Kerrigan is being forced to confront her life as an alcoholic. We see a little of her history explaining how she ended up in the corner she has painted herself into. Explaining, not excusing. While Colleen wallows in the idea that everything is happening to her not because of her, Davis holds her hero fully accountable for her choices. Colleen may see herself as a victim, Davis doesn’t. Colleen is presented to us truthfully, full of weakness and possibilities.

It seems strange to say I really enjoyed this book when the subject matter is so dark. But The Empty Room is a page turner; sad, sobering ( no pun intended ) and at times laugh out loud funny and full of beautifully drawn characters, nearly all of them flawed, because truthfully, aren’t we all?

Just so's ya know, Lauren B Davis is my dear, dear friend but that did not colour this review.  Those of you who know me, know I don't blow smoke !

Dragon Breath...................Dang

How do you deal with anger?  I compartmentalize and withdraw.  The problem is there is only so much you can stuff into a compartment before it oozes out and starts to smell.

  For the past couple of weeks I have been blessed to be immersed in creating important work with some of the most generous, talented, brave actors I have ever worked with.  But for the time being that project is done, and so now my anger is following me around like a disgruntled dragon looking for a place to land. 

Thank goodness for my yoga mat, books, music, tango, cats.  But even these lovely diversions are just that, diversions.  The people and things that make me angry are not going to change or slink off into the night.  In quiet moments my dragon is there snuffling in my ear and fanning the fire in my belly.

 I do not think anger has to necessarily be a bad thing.  I think it can be a catalyst for change, and since it seems my dear dragon is going to be around for a while I better name her and  harness her fire into something creative.  I think it is about time I did something that scares me too, maybe that will unblock this negativity.

Watch out world, I'm pissed and I gotta do something with it!

Today's last word is from Yoko Ono. "Experiencing sadness and anger can make you feel more creative, and by being creative, you can get beyond your pain or negativity."

Auditions? Hell yeah!

Not everyone loves auditioning, some really hate it.   But at times when the biz is achingly slow, I'm sure even those who hate auditioning would kill for the chance to remember how much they hate it.  And like it or not, auditioning is part of an actor's job.

I  kinda dig auditions, I have to say. I think auditions, as with most things in life, come down to your attitude.  I agree with Jack Plotnick when he says; your thoughts create your reality, and that is especially true when it comes to auditioning.  The casting director isn't there to judge you.  Wait, what?  Isn't that exactly what the casting folk do Susan?  Well I don't think so.  I think they are trying to find the right person for the part and that depends on so many things, and I hate to tell you, but your talent is low on that list.  I also suspect, having the casting person, the director, the producer and the writer(s)  agree on the perfect actor to be cast involves flying pigs and aligning cosmic bodies.  So really you, the actor, don't have the hardest job in the room.  You have the most fun job, you get to play! You get to do what you love and have somebody watch you.  After all what actor doesn't want an audience?

Tom Todoroff says your goal is to change the molecules in the room.  Cool, but always change them in a positive way.  Going in scared or needy or resentful that you are even being asked to audition, will put a big wet blanket over the room, and you'll be remembered alright, but probably not the way you want.

There are so many, so, so many actors in Toronto,  just the fact that you are " in the room " is a victory for you AND your hard working agent.  So be grateful, do the work, show up, and have a good time.  So they will want to see you again, and again, and again!!

Today's last word goes to the remarkable Judi Dench ~ "Seriously, though, I think I never ceased to be grateful of the fact that I am able to do a job that I really love - I never got over that."

 Picture credit, Tom Sierak.

Mother's Day......................sigh

Ah Mother's Day.  Why do I have such an issue with you?

Maybe because I am a Britt. My family doesn't celebrate Mother's Day, never has.  It seems to be a North American phenomenon.  Not that there aren't days set aside to honour mothers in other cultures, there are, but the big TO DO seems to be North American.

I was trying to research the origins of Mother's Day.  The consensus seems to fall on a woman named Ann Marie Reeves Jarvis , and Julia Ward Howe's  Mother's Day Proclamation for Peace.  Whatever both these women had envisioned, it is clear the modern Hallmark, flowers, chocolate, spa gift extravaganza, wasn't it.

 I was listening to a call in show on the radio today, subject; worst and best Mother's Day gifts.  Someone gave his wife, wife, not mother, a pair of diamond earrings!  What? What the hell did he give her for her birthday? And why is he giving his wife a gift?  Mother's Day, remember?  It is like parents giving their kids gifts for Valentine's Day.  Ugh Valentine's, don't get me started.  As the self professed least romantic woman in the world, you don't want to be standing near me in the card shop as I snort and groan, while I wade through the saccharin, facile, badly written poetry in most cards.  But I digress. 

You have probably figured out that my problem with Mother's Day, Father's Day and yes Valentine's is the crass, grasping, consumer driven greed of it all. For the record, mum, dad and husband get a card and even then it is because I am buckling to social pressure.

Now I am not trying to tell anyone how to spend their hard earned dough.  It is yours and it is no business of mine.  But maybe, just maybe in the spirit of community service that started the whole thing, consider donating to women close to home  in shelters who really need food more than you need a box of chocolates.  Or women around the world trying to start a business, take control of their lives and become the best mothers they can be.

Just a thought.

The house does not rest upon the ground, but upon a woman.~ Mexican proverb

Above The Fold

Everywhere I look I see the face of 8 year old Martin Richard, the little boy killed, along with 2 others in the bombings at the Boston Marathon.  He has become the face of the tragedy. I cannot imagine what his family is going through. It wrecks me and brings me to my knees.

However!

On the same day as the bombings in Boston, 27 people were killed and over 100 injured in multiple bombings in Iraq. You can bet there were many children killed in Syria on April 15. I know it is much easier to be emotionally invested in the face of one little boy and yes I'm going to say it, a little boy who looks like "us", than the breathtaking numbers of dead in international conflicts. 70,000 killed in Syria so far, and each and every one of them has somebody grieving for them. Hearts broken, holes in lives that will never be filled again.

If we could all muster as much outrage for the people suffering in all the dirty little wars around the world, whose faces are not all over social media.  If we could grieve for ALL of them as if they were part of US, because they are people, they just are.  If we could do that, maybe we could change things.  Because politicians ain't going to do it.  But when enough ordinary folks get together with one message, they have to listen.  Witness the Velvet Revolution, Arab Spring, Idle No More.  The message it seems to me is that violence and indiscriminate violent actions are unacceptable and should be condemned  EVERYWHERE,  and not just in the United States.  Yes the irony of that last statement is not lost on me, but you get my point.

So, remember Martin Richard and make him the poster child if you must.  But also remember the hundreds of thousands suffering daily, dodging bombs and gunfire daily, trying not to become a statistic, daily.

" Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." Martin Luther King

Anything you can do I can do better.

There used to be cooking shows.  Now there are competitions to be the next Iron Chef, the next best cupcake maker, doughnut maker, next best maker of anything you can think to eat and lots of things you would never in a million years want to eat.  There are competitions to see who can eat the most.  Really?  When did eating more food at one sitting than a reasonable person would eat in a week, become a good thing?  And more to the point, why does anyone want to watch it?

The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, at least both sexes have an equal opportunity to make idiots of themselves.  Yeah and same sex unions are threatening the sanctity of marriage!

ALL TALENT SHOWS. Thank you Simon Cowell, please stop.

 Toddlers in Tiaras.  Who thought of this?  How do you judged a group of  baby dolls with fake hair, fake teeth, fake tans, fake smiles, who all look exactly the same?!?

Back in the mists of time, when I was dancing, there was no such thing as competitive dance.   I did however  coach some competitive dancers, didn't last long, and I did for a while teach dance to elite competitive skaters.  It seems to me that in the rush to be the shiniest, sparkly-est, most scantily dressed dancer, something gets lost.  Musicality, soul, creativity!  If you are concerned about your every move being judged, how do you develop the freedom to take chances, to risk, to try?  There is more to dance than the perfect arch or the best extension. I want to see an artist let the moment move through her/him and share the magic when it happens.

I think in the end that is my biggest beef with the rush to the bottom of the competition game.  It turns everyone into interchangeable, generic automatons.  I want to cheer for quirky, fierce, individual folks too busy doing their own thing to worry about competing against anyone.

Todays last word:
A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.~ Ayn Rand

No! Maybe. Can I think about it and get back to you?

So this morning I said no to something.  I turned down a request.  No big deal.  I was asked to do something and I politely declined.  And then agonized over my decision for the next HOUR!

I wasn't questioning my decision to say no; oh no, I knew I should say no.  I believe my actual response was, " oh god no!"  My gut had my back.

So why did I spend the next hour, waiting for all the bad karma to rain down on my head, poised over the phone, talking myself down from calling back and saying Yes, I am so sorry, what was I thinking, of course yes!  Okay so I am being a tad dramatic here but you know what I mean.  Or do you?

Am I alone in my unbalanced inability to say no?  Is it a girl thing?

Of course I can say no to the things most sane people say no to : playing in traffic, grilled cheese vodka, letting vampires in your house.  But ask me to go out of my way, change my schedule, accommodate you and your friends.  I'm your girl.

 Don't get me wrong I like being able to say yes, to help out when I can.  I think we should all help each other whenever possible and do it because it is the right thing to do, not for brownie points.  And I do say yes............... a lot.  So given that, why, why, why is it so hard to say no?

Today's last word goes to George Carlin ~ " Just cause you got the monkey off your back, doesn't mean the circus has left town."